I am passionate about suicide prevention, as you all know. Among the many populations at increased risk for suicide, the community of LGBTQ youth is one I will always be a fierce advocate for.
Maybe you assume that means Rader might have been gay. I don't think so; that's not something we had any indication of, although I can say with certainty that he was aware our love for him would not have changed based on whom he was attracted to.
I'm particularly fired up about this topic right now because in Greenville County, S.C., where I live, the County Council is dragging its feet on rescinding a 1996 resolution condemning the "gay lifestyle" as "incompatible with community values." I have attended the two most recent County Council meetings (they meet every two weeks on Tuesday nights), where discussions of the resolution are ongoing. I am horrified at the ignorance and hatred I have heard spewing from the mouths of members of the community who identify themselves as Christians and claim to speak for the majority of the people in Greenville County.
They say they believe in "traditional family values." Look at me. I married in my 20s, worked to put my husband through medical school, then we raised two kids with me as a stay-at-home mom. Twenty-seven years later, I'm still married to the same man. We own a home; we pay our taxes; we are putting a kid through college. We are a pretty traditional family. But my values are VERY different from these folks who claim that most of the population of Greenville County still believes a) that there's such a thing as a "gay lifestyle," and b) that it interferes with their desire to live according to their own beliefs, so much so that our government should step in and stand up for them.
Statistically speaking, some of these "traditional family values" people likely have children who align somewhere within the LGBTQ community. These are children who may be terrified to come out to their families, and rightly so, for the statistics also don't lie that many of them will be punished, shunned, rejected, and even thrown out for admitting who they are. These kids, the ones whose own families condemn them, who find no refuge with the people whom they should be able to count on to provide unconditional love, are among the most likely to suffer depression and anxiety, and to die by suicide. Be careful who you hate; it might be someone you love.
Do these "Christians" not know this literally is a matter of life and death? I can't believe they could know and not care.
If this is an uncomfortable conversation for you, if it surprises you to hear there are many good people who have reconciled their Christian beliefs with their support of or membership within the LGBTQ community, know that there are abundant resources available to explain how they got there, if you're open to them. One great place to start is Serendipitydodah Public Page - A Place of Unexpected Discoveries on Facebook. Serendipitydodah began as a group of Christian moms of LGBTQ kids, led by Liz Dyer (on Instagram, @lizdyer and @realmamabears). #BeThe1To help prevent LGBTQ youth suicide.
