coping — writing my grief — Rader Ward Foundation

For today’s prompt, take the phrase “Social (blank),” replace the blank with a word or phrase, make the new phrase the title of your poem, and then, write your poem. Possible titles could include: “Social Distancing at the Grocery Store,” “Social Media Trolls,” “Social Club,” and/or “Social Distortion.” Heck, flipping the script to come up with a title like “Ice Cream Social” would totally work too.

Remember: These prompts are just springboards; you have the freedom to jump in any direction you want. In other words, it’s more important to write a new poem than to stick to the prompt. — Robert Lee Brewer, Writer’s Digest

Social Studies

Somehow I made it through school
and even through my 20s
without realizing I was an introvert
and understanding what that meant

I've become much more introspective
in the decades since then
I like knowing myself
and what makes me the way I am,
the instructions that explain
how I operate most efficiently.

I’m social in my own way,
kind of awkward,
not good in crowds,
happy alone,
but getting kind of tired of isolation.

The social studies —
the coping skills I must have developed
over those years
when I wasn’t conscious of what my needs were
— are paying off now
in these most unsociable times.

I think there’s a good idea here, but it needs some development. Maybe in May when I’m not writing a poem a day, I can return to a couple of these and see what more I can do with them.

We’re three weeks into the challenge now, which means “Two-for-Tuesday” day today. This is the one I break out every challenge (alumni know which one I’m talking about).

For today’s prompt:

Write a love poem and/or…
Write an anti-love poem. Because some folks just aren’t that into love poems.

Remember: These prompts are just springboards; you have the freedom to jump in any direction you want. In other words, it’s more important to write a new poem than to stick to the prompt. — Robert Lee Brewer, Writer’s Digest

I haven’t written two poems on either of the previous Tuesdays this month. I’ll try today to write both instead of choosing one.

anti-love

There’s an ugly wound
on my soul
from the blunt force trauma
of losing a child to suicide

It’s the kind of thing
you always hide
in polite company
and even now
I hesitate
to say any more,
to tell the thing I came to tell.

The wound gives me thoughts
that should not be expressed
There’s a tiny voice I suppress
— would never say out loud —
every time I hear the news
someone is expecting.

I’m so happy for you!
Children are such a blessing.
But the wound whispers darkly
so only I can hear,
”I hope they don’t grow up to break your heart.”

love

it was love
that wrought
my devastation

— anyone
who has lost someone
understands —

and love
has been the only thing
to begin to revive
the damaged parts of me

a paradox:
that which harms also heals
somehow the seed of my destruction
yet is the source of my redemption

such power

I want to wield it well

So one thing about these poetry exercises is that they’re not all successful. I don’t wrap it up every day thrilled with what I’ve written. Maybe I come back and do some revisions. Every first effort could be improved with some additional attention. Or maybe I call it good enough and move on.

These days, so much depends on the energy I have. Am I fighting just to get through another day of self isolation without alienating the people I love? Yesterday I was so grouchy. Everything seemed bleak, and it was hard not to take it out on my husband, who is the only other person in my household right now. And he’s working — although things are weird, he still gets to leave the house and see people and maintain whatever sense of normalcy is possible under the extraordinary conditions of life at this moment.

So today’s poems, I don’t think they’re so great. But, as with every attempt at poetry, they did give me the opportunity to take some stuff that was inside of me and express it outwardly, and in some sense, let it go. So that’s always a positive.